Focus, Stacy - Focus!

This will be a short post as the girls are waking up as I type. I have decided that while there are dozens of hobbies that I want to try, things I want to get good at, that there are only so many hours in the week and chances for me to actually attempt a hobby. So, I have decided to focus on my favorite two: sewing and photography.

Sewing: I LOVE this. Taking a flat piece of fabric and designing and crafting something beautiful out of it is thrilling to me! As I become a more proficient seamstress, I can not only make many clothes for the girls, but I can make things for myself as well. I'm dying to try a cute fitted jacket. I can continue to decorate our home, and make practical things beautiful. And I can make money through sewing, when people hire me to do home decor items or diapers. Plus, I just recieved as a gift the most amazing sewing/embroidery machine and I have yet to learn the embroidery part. I'm almost afraid to touch the new Kenmore, lest I'll break it.

Photography: my cousin Jayme introduced me to PSE (photoshop elements) and "actions" basically, things you download and then use to make your photos look professionally done. (Doesn't that sound like I know what I'm talking about? Right!) There is a forum she is a part of that I may join, just to learn from what other people are doing and attempt it myself. I decided that dedicating a few hours each week to making sure I have not only recent, but edited and completed, photos of the girls and our family will help me keep track of these wonderful moments that I want to remember. I would rather have 1 photo per week that I love than dozens of snapshots that I will just end up deleting anyway (bad lighting, out of focus, weird faces, etc etc).

So, here begins hobby week #1! My goal: join clickn' moms, and make two dresses for the girls (and post pics of them to this blog). Here we go! And yes, I better go, the girls are "calling" me.

Toddler Talk

The girls are finally starting to talk! On one hand, I'm really excited. I will gladly exchange words for frustrated screams, cries, grunts and pointing. However, I also realize that once they start talking, they won't stop and so I am glad they are starting at a gradual pace.

Aubrey's vocabulary repitoire: mem (Amen), naanaa (nigh-night), bou (ball), dees (this, blanket, yes, we're not quite sure), bebebebe (baby), bobree (Aubrey), mamamama (mama)

Claire's exuberant expressions: baao! (plane, bird, balloon, anything that flies), ba (ball), buuube (bubble), Aaadeee (Aubrey), daadeee (daddy), beebee (baby), wow-wow-wow (wow, wow, wow), maaameee (mommy), muh (more), bu (bye)

And they communicate so well in other ways, too. Tonight when we were tucking them in, we said, "say goodnight, girls!". Simultaneously, Aubrey said naanaa and Claire waved (her way of saying nigh-night). So cute! Toddler talk, or the attempts and practicing thereof, have left an indellible mark on me as well. As I finished my sewing for the evening, I literally stopped myself from saying, "Nigh-night, sewing machines!"

Simple moments

Sweet little girls out for a walk with mommy. Aubrey in a striped terry hoodie, Claire in polka dots. The sun shining down, a gentle breeze blowing just fast enough to send feathery hair flying. Aubrey sees two pigeons waddling down the drive and squeals with delight while pulling her little hand free from mine. She runs after them, sloppy steps catch her up and - tumble over and down on the pavement. And she cracks up laughing at her stumble; gets up, and holds hands with mommy again.

We hear a noise overhead, and Claire scrunches up her tiny hand, points one pudgy finger out and exlaims loudly (and deliberately), "BBBBBBAAAAHHHHHHHHH!". Apparently, Bah is anything that flies. A plane, a bird, a balloon. This time, it was a plane. She cranes her neck back to follow its arc across the sky, grinning from ear to ear. She is content to hold mommy's hand the whole time.

We proceed to the flower beds, where tulips entice and fascinate. Chubby baby fingers stroke velvety soft petals with sheer wonder. The curb is painted a vibrant yellow. We step up. We step down, and up again. Big steps, nearly half their little leg length. This is serious exercise!

Around to the pool, which is closed for the winter but we gaze and dream and reach down to pet the fuzzy grass. Feel that grass! Look how it moves when I pull on the ends! We're waving at the big bushes now, the same wave as nigh-night or bye-bye and it makes mommy a little creeped out that there may be someone in the bushes that she can't see and we move on.

Aubrey the Independent runs 20 paces ahead, stops, turns around to make sure I'm still tracking her, and just smiles mischieviously. Three "come to mommy"s later, and she's holding hands again. Claire just likes walking with mommy, watching Aubrey be adventurous.

We spent an entire hour walking one loop around the complex. There is something so beautiful and right about letting these little ones be little. Not to rush them to and fro, but to watch them in amazement as they explore their little worlds in the safety and love of mommy's gaze. My life is now made up of these simple moments daily, and it is a miracle. My heart truly breaks for friends and family who are content to leave their kids in a daycare center and miss moments like this. They are lived once, and we won't get them back.

Something happened to my brain...

... when I gave birth to the girls. I think it came out in the amniotic fluid. Boy, do I miss it! I was just re-reading my IVF/pregnancy blog the other day, thinking, wow - this is really interesting and fairly well-written!

And now, our lives are infinitely more interesting/complicated/invigorating/exhausting now, but I can't seem to remember what I was planning on blogging about, or if I do, I can't find the words to make it flowery. So here's my best shot for today:

Girls woke up early, sleepy, crying. Girls kept crying and fell over lots of things. Girls got in fight. Girls took early nap. Girls woke up early from early nap. Mommy is so tired and dizzy she can't see straight today. All of us went to mall to look at nothing in particular.

Girls pushed stroller at mall, tripping every 5 steps while trying to see everything. Girls had meltdown on way out of JCPenney because I said "no jewelry". Girls were cute at lunch, wolfing down hotdogs. Girls wanted up. Girls wanted down. Girls ran around, crying again. Girls saw bottles and blankies and cried with joy, I think. Girls took nap.

Sorry, dear readers. I am trying...

Aubrey loves the swing

My little Aubrey has the sweetest spirit about her. There is something in the way that she moves, her normal tone of voice, her impish little looks - something that is altogether sweet and lovely, gracious and graceful. A quietness that speaks of a wise soul, an interested observance and deep understanding of her world.

I was pushing her in the swing at our little playground today and it dawned on me that she is a baby no longer. Her fuzzy, normaly unruly hair fluttered in the breeze; her bangs held off her face with a delicate lavendar bow. Purple is a wonderful color on her; it makes her eyes look sea-green and her olive complextion shine. Her matching purple-and-green argyle knee socks flew as she kicked her little legs through the air. And I thought her choice of bright orange sparkly necklace was the perfect "non-matchy-matchy" accessory to contrast with her purple shirt. The girl has style.

But her lovliness came through in the glint in her eyes, and soft little giggles as she held on tight to that bucket swing and sailed back and forth, back and forth. While Claire seems to wear her heart on her sleeve, I have really looked forward to this with Aubrey: the ability for her, as she grows out of babyhood, to be able to communicate with me what's going on inside of her. And so while it is sad to miss little baby Aubrey, I am loving getting to know my darling little girl Aubrey more each passing day.

So thankful for today.

We had a simply wonderful day. It was simple, and it was wonderful. We spend the gloriously sunny afternoon at my folks' house. The girls adore Grama and Boompa and started clapping as soon as we turned down the driveway! Claire and Aubrey really are spoiled; they have the most wonderful grandparents any kids could ask for - on both sides of the family! What a blessing!

They enjoyed swinging in their dolphin swing hanging from Grandpa Wilson's Tree, and watching Lucky the Dog, and dancing to the cool 70s tunes playing on Uncle Sam's Record Player. They pushed each other around in the dolly stroller, and ate treats and ran around on the deck. Grama and Boompa took them for a rambling walk to hear the frogs in the pond and the birdies in the trees, and to smell the freshness of a sunny spring day. Little Aubrey was so cute sitting in her stroller with her stylish pink sunglasses on, her blankie "little pink" clutched in one hand, and her other little hand raised up SO high waving at me with her tiny little fingers as they walked by.

Ryan and I detailed our sweet ride (hey, if we can't buy a newer car, we might as well make our old one look new!) and then Uncle Joey grilled up some great burgers. My family life is, amazingly, like watching a 50s sitcom sometimes. And I love it! What could be more wonderful and good and wholesome? I am so grateful that I can experience some of God's greatest blessings through the warmth, love and sincerity of my family.

Sweetness at the shoe shop

Little Claire is getting 4 molars right now. I cannot imagine how painful that must be. She has been walking around the house, literally holding her pudgy hands to her chubby cheeks and wimpering. As soon as she sees the Baby Tylenol bottle come out, she spits her pacifier across the room in anticipation of this wonderful new treat; and let's not even get started on the joys of Baby Orajel!

I had to run a few errands this morning, and so Ryan stayed home with the girls. He told me later that after I left, Claire was sitting on the floor of the living room, holding her blankie and crying. He tried to comfort her, but she just looked up at him with tearful eyes, and waved "bye-bye". Oh, how that tugs at my heart-strings, to know that my little girl missed me!

So, this afternoon, I took Clairsie with me to DSW (my new favorite store). It's rare that I get to go somewhere, especially shopping, with just one of the girls, and I really enjoy the one-on-one time I get when I do. It's so interesting, to observe them while they take in their new surroundings to see what brings a smile to their face or a little giggle. And it's truly amazing, the freedom of having just one little one to carry and keep track of.

I wish I had my camera with me, to capture this cute little pint-sized sweetheart, dressed in khaki cargo capri pants, bright pink top, matching Mary Janes, and her favorite accessories - sparkly necklaces - as she half-toddled, half-ran down the aisles with me. She carried my keys, she searched my purse, she looked at herself in the footstool mirrors.

She emptied shoe boxes, she banged on the clearance racks. She waved hello and goodbye to everyone we passed. She got scared of the salesman and burried her face in my knees, she fought for her freedom when I told her to stay. She wanted up, she wanted down. Such a busy little explorer! She smiled and laughed at - well, I'm not quite sure what. She pointed out "Ba!!!" at every light.

I didn't find the shoes I was after, but I so enjoyed being with my little Clairsie-bear this afternoon. I can't imagine a better companion than one of my little girls.